I still he believing girls have no right to

I exactly cant figure out from where my journey started,
born in a rural  and non developed area
near Indus River in Sindh Pakistan,my father is from Veeram Goth, where till
now there is no electricity, I still remember mud house,  frangnance of mud when during summer they
spread water in the mud rooms,  and we
all use to sleep outside, there were no wash rooms, sheeps, fresh vegetables,
fruits, traditional stories of old sindhi kings and queens, my father  kept us connected to his origin, there was no
concept of education of women, my  father
was the first man who passed CSS along with taking care of farming land, he
decided to give education to his daughters, when I was 7 years old my mother
told me my aunty asked my father for my proposal, but my father rejected by
saying  that she will study.

Soon my father passed CSS, we shifted to Karachi, we
regularly visit our village from that time I started to absorb difference
between these two systems, where all my aunts married without taking permission
from them, my grand father decided for them and I come to know girls have no
right to escape from arrange marriage, my grand father was a feudal lord and
was educated he use to conduct jirgas but not related related to “IZZAT” means
honour where ultimate fate was murder.  With all education still he believing girls
have no right to marry a man of her choice, still I remember mothers use to
teach to their daughters that if your father bring a dog you have to marry him,
I come to know I have Pure Rajput genes they call it “Chind Mahar” means no
impurity is genes and we are superior to other castes,  and I am a tribal women and a rajput women
cant marry a non rajput, and if she will she will be a reason of family
dishonor and she will be labeled as kari means black women, and she will most
likely be killed by her brother or father, comiting sin of adultery is a crime
for which murder is the only solution to wash off family honour,  I spent my childhood in this atmosphere, when
my grand father died he left 13 sons behind and disputes on property land  they approached local judiciary system they
call it jirga. I saw how deeply jirgas make decisions and how strong they are
penetrating my tribe.

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My father decided for my marriage and I got married to a man
who was a feudal lord and a son of parliamentarian, whose brother was a
parliamentarian, on 8th march 2014 my  journey started. I observed a system very
closely, I remember after few weeks of my marriage Sindh Police raided my x_inlaws
house in wazirabad lakhi. Because my x father in law who was a very strong
tribal leader, presided the jirga, and Supreme
Court Chief Justice Tassaduq Hussain Jillani took suo motu notice, when two women of the Mahar tribe were allegedly
killed by their parents for having ‘illicit relations’ with men of the Jagirani
tribe. Media news chanels  highlighted
this case like in one of the news paper https://www.dawn.com/news/1094314 . I still remember that day when on the order of
chief justice police raided the house and all villagers surrounder his house
with humen shield and they stopped police to step in in that house, all
government machinery was helpless,and we left house overnight. Later on they
internally managed to change the witnesses and I come to know its not for the
first time it’s a functional custom and many time my x.father in law approved
honour killings, when I came back to the haweli I remember all village women
came and they started to tell me what they did on that day and in compensation
they want us to arrange a job for the, so I come to know the root cause, that’s
empowerment,  later on I come to know
another thing that all maids between age 14 till 19 serve my x.husband like
wives, one of the girl was raped by my husband, and its very common in that
house, when I asked her to leave the job she told me my step father also
threatening me to commit rape on me, so I am preferring this place, I protested
and I raised my voice in reaction I was threatened to be murdered many time, my
father was serving Pakistan Defence as DG_Defence so they got scared from
Pakistan army and I survived, people there were not having human rights, there
were force labour, they pay them 5 dollars a month, 10 dollars, maximum amount
was 30 dollars. they were having torture rooms, where they kidnap anyone who
raise their voice against what they were doing and beat them with a wooden
stick full of needles, and person can not go after torture on their feet, and I
come to know goux bakhskh mahar was responsible for 600 plus killings by
igniting tribal fight to grab land. Just for a petty reason one day I come to
know they have decided to kill a man who was a computer operator I saved his
life by sending a  message to him and he
left the village overnight by wearing ladies cloths, and his life was saved, in
reaction his brother was abdicated and was beaten by the same way. That stick
with needle is famous in the village. I saved many girls to not to approach him
when they come for a financial assistance and I was knowing he will demand them
to make a relationship with for his money . After few months I was caught, and
my cell phones everything was taken. For 21 months I was there with no external
contact only my father was allowed to visit me, and its ended up after 25
months instead of killing me they freed me, just because of my father. When I
was back my voice was lost, because of severe pscylogical and emotional abuse
and I struggled for more than a year to bring my voice back.I observed this
system very closely, I come to know the real reasons why people are like slaves
to them, even when they rape their girls or convince them to come in a sexual
relationship no one raise their voice is because they are not empowered and
they have given them a minor part of abdicated land which they grabed after
igniting tribal fights where they build there houses and they serve them like
slaves. I have witness uncountable cases. And I belive God wants to use my life
for them.

There is a need of change whats
happening there,  and I believe change
can be bringout by two strong tools education and parliament to implement a
policy which give them a life what they deserve as a human being, so I am keen
to study public policy and oxford is the best place to learn what I want.so
that I can come back the place I belong and deliver my best part in my society.
My life was saved because I was from a family who were capable of raising their
voice, and where we stand is because we are educated, I want to learn the
sharpest microdetailing of policy for effective public service.  Whether via governmental, non governmental
organization or the private sector. As history was not made by those who did





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