During are facing: are working mothers better mothers. Today,

During this last century societal views towards women have drastically changed, from being looked at as a homemaker, to a businesswoman, to a mother, and now a working mother. One thing that hasn’t changed through the years is the way women are critiqued for what they do and how they do it. If a woman takes care of the house she’s lazy and doesn’t use her potential because she stays at home all day. If a women works in the office more than she’s at home she doesn’t connect with her family enough. The latest judgement women are facing: are working mothers better mothers. Today, women are being put against each other to be viewed as the “better mother” just by looking at their profession and work ethic. Being a working mother is time consuming. Balancing work and home, making sure the kids have everything they need, and keeping the house together are just a few tasks they accomplish. While being a working mother is time consuming there are definitely major pros to this lifestyle. Having more income and their children being more independent are just two perks that come with being a working mother. A major advantage of being a working mother is the income that she brings into her home. The more money that is brought into the home, the more the family can do and have. Let’s look at a certain situation: a family of four with two working parents. With two incomes coming into the household, there is more financial room to spend money on what they may please. The family can have a nicer home, cars, clothes, and electronics. Let’s not forget vacations. With more income coming into the household the family may be able to afford to go on extravagant vacations, or maybe can vacation more frequently. Another perk with the income of a working mother is that her family will never have to worry about not having anyone to watch her children. Instead of paying a babysitter or dropping the kids off at mom and dads the family has the option of putting the children in daycare, or even hiring their own nanny to watch the kids while the parents work. However, more family income isn’t the only perk of being a working mom. Another perk of being a working mom is that her children may be more independent. According to Robert Locke, a relationship and life improvement specialist, working moms do have more independent kids (Locke, 2017).  Locke grew up with a working mom himself. He wrote about how since his mother worked at a hospital he and his siblings had the responsibility of making sure that meals were ready on time, and claims that this is a useful skill today (Locke, 2017). Liza N. Burby, an award winning author from St. John’s University, believes that children with working mothers are more independent (Burby, 2017). Burby writes on workingmother.com that kids with working mothers have more responsibility. They have certain tasks and duties that need to be done, like letting out the dog, and if these tasks aren’t completed there will be consequences (Burby, 2017). While these are good pros of being a stay at home mother, there are still cons to being a working mother. The pros of being a working mother are very beneficial, but we still must evaluate the cons of being a working mom. Working mothers have to face judgements based on their profession and having to sacrifice family time for their careers are just two examples of downfalls of being a working mother. While many praise working mothers for all they do, many critique and look down on them. Lisa Abeyta, founder/CEO of APPCity Life Inc. and mother, is one working mother who shared a time when she was judged for being a working mother. The assistant principal at one of Abeyta’s son’s schools had told her to start “making her son her priority” when she would be late to pick him up from school due to work (Abeyta. 2017). Katherine Lewis, a mother and blogger, writes on The Spruce an article listing things you should never say to a working mother. One is “You worked so hard on your career. It’s great that it’s your first priority!” (Lewis, 2017). These are just two encounters working mothers have shared about judgements they face. Just because mothers have children doesn’t mean they can’t have careers. The judgements working mothers face aren’t the only downfall though, let’s look at how her family is affected. While many believe it is good to have a working mother, there is always some cons to it. Many believe that women need to be home with their children, so that a mom is always present for important events, and for simple family time. Julie M., a mother and blogger on Working Moms Against Guilt, writes about milestones she missed out on because she is a working mother. Julie missed her daughter losing her first tooth. Then, she explained how it’s not just missing the milestone. It’s the fact she wasn’t there at all, not to have the memory for herself, or her daughter (M. 2016). But it’s not just the milestones, it’s missing family time in general. In the article “Working Mothers”, examples of time mothers should be around family are given. When children are sick, sports games and events, and just time at home are all examples of this (Working Mothers). Overall, working moms have perks to their jobs, both in and out of the home, and they have their cons to them too. While being a working mom sounds difficult but beneficial, so can being a stay at home mom. Being a stay at home mom can be a dream. Look back at history, stay at home mothers were, and in some cases still are, idolized through the media. There are two great pros when it comes to being a stay at home mom, they are always at home to keep everyone and everything in order and they are always available. The first pro with being a stay at home mom is that she is always able to keep everyone and everything in line. This varies from making sure the house is cleaned, to making sure the kids make it to soccer practice on time. Apryl Duncan, a stay at home mother, writes about how it’s beneficial for children to have a stay at home mother. Duncan shares how children with an at home mom are have a higher academic edge over children without a stay at home mom (Duncan, 2017). This is because since the mom is home more she is able to put more attention into her children’s studies, and push them to succeed. Another factor of always keeping things in order always provides a clean and organized environment for her children. Both of these factors affect her children for the better. Always being able to keep everything in line is a great advantage of being a stay at home mom, but it’s not the only one. Another factor that comes with being a stay at home mom is that she is always available. In another article on thespruce.com by Apryl Duncan, she explains it’s good for a mother to always be available. With children of any age, anything can happen so it’s convenient if mom is always available (Duncan, 2017). A child could forget their homework, get sick at school, or have a sports event get rescheduled, so it’s important for mom to always be available. This will also leave a positive impact on her children’s memories. I can vouch for this myself. My mom has never worked, and truthfully I don’t think she ever could. Life doesn’t have a plan, things happen day by day. Someone gets sick, someone gets hurt, someone doesn’t understand their homework assignment, the list goes on and on. If a mother is always available there is less stress in these situations and usually they can be taken care of immediately, which in the end benefits the children. While these are great pros that come with being a stay at home mother, there are also cons. Being a stay at home mom may sound like a dream to some, but there are two huge cons that come with the job. Two obstacles stay at home moms face include not working for an income and facing judgement everyday for what they do. The first downfall of being a stay at home mom comes with the income. Being a stay at home mom is a full time position with no salary. Many may think this isn’t a job, but it is. The laundry and dishes need done, dinner needs to be made, the floor needs to be mopped. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Stay at home moms work their butts off everyday and don’t get a dime to show for it.  This could pose a problem for some families. Some families may be larger, so they need more money, but since the family is so large only one parent can work, forcing a mother to be a stay at home mom. This is only one downfall with being a stay at home mom. Another downfall with being a stay at home mom is the judgement and criticism she faces everyday. Penelope James, a stay at home mom, wrote an article telling readers about some of the things she’s been criticized for. The list includes being judged for being tired, not financially contributing to the family, she’s viewed as lazy, and she doesn’t have a real job (James, 2016). These statements are harmful to a stay at home mothers self worth and disrespectful to her as a mom. Stay at home mothers work days never end, yet people stand back and tell them they do nothing. This is by far the biggest downfall of being a stay at home mom, they aren’t getting the credit and respect that they deserve. With both working moms and stay at home moms there are pros and cons. How do we take these pros and cons and weigh them out to determine who really is the better mom? The answer is we don’t. No mom is better than another. Each mother tries her very best to do what will benefit her family, and each mom does that differently because each family is different. So no, working moms aren’t better moms, they are simply moms who have two jobs, her job at the office, and then her real job in her home.  

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